Many a changes but you don't CHANGE!!!

Have you witnessed few things suddenly getting  changed in your life only in a span of 1 or 2 decades  (Heights of Western & other regional influence)

Curds became Yogurt! 

Biscuits became cookies!

Sweet became Dessert!

Washerman became Housekeeper!

Rupees became bucks!

Friends became Pals/buddies!

Housewife became homemaker!

Waiting area became Lobby!

Lift became elevator!

Toilet became rest room!

Husband became Hubby!

Wife became Honey!

Doctor became Doc!

Teacher became Faculty! 

Chithranna became Lemon rice!

Thili saru became Rasam!

Dosa became pancake!

Coffee became cappuccino!

Cake became Pastry! 

Scent became Perfume!

Taxi became cab!

Building became mall!

Theatre became multiplex!!

Song became number!

Dancer became item girl!!

Man became dude!

Photo became pic!

Biodata became Resume!

Oh God became Omg!

Thank God our names have remained the same!

Face challenge and stay energized!!!

😄 The Japanese have always loved fresh fish🐠 🐟🐠🐟

But the water close to Japan has not held many fish🐠🐟 for decades. 

So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. 

The further the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish🐠🐟🐠🐟

If the return trip took more time, the fish 🐠🐟🐠🐟 were not fresh.

To solve this problem, fish 🐠🐟 companies installed freezers on their boats. 

They would catch the fish 🐠🐟 and freeze them at sea. 

Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. 

However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish🐠🐟 and they did not like the taste of frozen fish 🐠🐟

The frozen fish🐠🐟 brought a lower price. 

So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. 

They would catch the fish 🐠🐟 and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. 

After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. 

The fishing industry faced an impending crisis! 

But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan. 

How did they manage...? 

To keep the fish🐠🐟🐠 tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish🐠🐟🐠 in the tanks but with a small shark🐋🐋

The fish🐠🐟🐠are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. 

The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull....? 

Basically in our lives, sharks 🐋🐋 are new challenges to keep us active. 

If you are steadily conquering

challenges, you are happy. 

Your challenges keep you energized. 

Don’t create Success and revel in it in a state of inertia.

You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference.  

Put a shark 🐋🐋 in your tank this year and see how far you can really go....

Nature

The Chennai floods is an unhappy marriage between climate change and land use change.
'You have to respect nature. You won't respect nature unless you see nature's fury.'

Whether it is climate change or the climate behaving normally, it is natural for the skies to let rain water fall on the ground. If the waters had rained on a place where there were no people or human property, we would not have described this as a disaster. We have to look why the 490 mm of rain became a disaster.

You have climate behaving normally and also climate behaving abnormally due to climate change. If a natural event becomes a national disaster, it shows bad landscape planning.

There are a whole lot of things. When water falls, it has to either go into the ground or it has to flow, and it knows where it has to go and it tries to reach the place.

If you prevent water from going into the ground, you have excess water flowing. And if you prevent the water from flowing, it accumulates and finally bypasses you to flow to where it has to.

Bullet Train

The 500-kilometre-long railway line would be built within a period of seven years, much before the repayment of the loan starts at an incredibly low interest rate of 0.1 per cent over a period of 50 years. The agreement provides India not just over 80 per cent of the total project cost, but also technical assistance to build domestic capacity to manufacture coaches and tracks before making them operational.

Wonderful English from Around the World

Gujju wrote this

English Love Letter :

Maari Deer Pusspa Ben, 

U r que tea, luv lee, no tea, on nest, attract thief, cheer fool, soup pub & u r very pre tea

Taro lower, 

Come less bhai...

Terrible English by PT sir: 😁😁

1) There is no wind in the football.. 😆

2) I talk, he talk, why you middle talk?. 😝

3) You rotate the ground 4 times.. 😳

4) You go and understand the tree. 😳😳

5) I'll give you clap on ur cheeks.. 😓

6) Bring your parents and your mother and especially your father. 😓😓

7) Close the window airforce is coming. 😂

8) I have two daughters and both are girls.. 😂😭

9) Stand in a straight circle.. 😆

10) Don't stand in front of my back 😱😭😭

11) Why Haircut not cut..? 😵😵

12) Don't make noise.. principle is rotating in the corridor 😂😂😂

13) Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when I’m here? 😅

14) You talking bad habit 😁

15) Give me a red pen of any colour. 😖😓

16) Can i have some snow in my cold drink? 😭😭

17) Pick the paper and fall into the dustbin. 😜

18) Both of u stand together separately. 😝😝

19) Keep quiet the principal just passed away!! 😂😂😂😂😂....

Dont laugh alone pass it....👍👍👍👌👌😜😜

HIn a Bangkok Temple: 

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. 

Cocktail Lounge, Norway: 

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's Office, Rome: 

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry Cleaners, Bangkok: 

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. 

A Nairobi Restaurant: 

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi: 

TAKE NOTICE:  WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

 

On a poster at Kencom: 

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ?  IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant: 

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a Cemetery: 

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: 

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS, IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant: 

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo Bar: 

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

 

Hotel, Yugoslavia: 

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan: 

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: 

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY,  WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY,  EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: 

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich: 

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

 

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: 

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: 

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.    

A Laundry in Rome: 

LADIES, LEAVE  YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

And finally, the all time classic, Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window: 

IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE.

👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

Hilarious Apology Letter.....

A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing...

Deer sur,

If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker.

This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun.I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my son. 

Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my son.

Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life. I hope u will look into explain my hole story  I am now ending this fastly. 

I am a waiter for your responsement. May god blast you.

😆😄😄

What ?? Alcohol ban in my Kerala ! This is zimbly terrible. Today I will take an otto, go to the temble and ask God why he did thiz in hiz own kentry?? I ask all my ungles and aunthies to take all their meney and shift to Gelf and Thhubai immediately !

Enough of Sardar jokes……Mallu jokes are in town!!!!!!!!!!

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?

IngumDax.

2) Where did the Malayali study?     

In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?

He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?

To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?

To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?

He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.                            

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?

MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen.

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?

Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?

He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?

An Oto.

11) Where does he pray?

In a Temble, Charch and a Maask.                          

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend?

A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?

Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?

Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait? 

He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'.     

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?

Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where ".

17) Why aren't Mallus included in hockey and football teams?

Coz Whenever they get a corner, they set up a tea shop.

Now pass it on to 5 Mallus to get a free sample of  kokanet oil.                   

Pass it on 10 Mallus to get a free pack of Benana Chibbs....

😂🍌😜

Walter Kauffman

How many of you still hear this tune in morning  at 5.55 am . It's 88 years old now ...23 July 1927 onwards it's still there...
It was composed by a Jewish musician,
Walter Kauffman
Who was a refugee from Germany 🎼🎼🎶🎶

GST

How GST Will Change the Face of Indian Economy? 

Indian truck drivers clock an average of 280 km per day, much below the world average of 400 km per day and far below the 700 km the average truck driver in the US does every day. The underperformance of Indian truckers has less to do with bad roads and less fancy trucks and more about prevailing archaic laws.

Truck drivers in India spend 60 per cent of their time off roads negotiating check posts and toll plazas, says UBS Securities, which has also found that there are 650-odd check posts in the country and 11 categories of taxes on the road transport sector.

Since road traffic accounts for 60 per cent of freight traffic in India, the slow movement of trucks across states leads to productivity loss. According to UBS, if the distance covered goes up by 20 per cent per day, Indian truck productivity would improve by 12 per cent.

Higher productivity would cut the need for buffer stocks; reduce the loss of perishable goods, cut down the need for many warehouses, etc.

Analysts say the implementation of the goods and services tax (GST) could provide the kind of productivity boost illustrated above. Gautam Chhaochharia, head of India Research of UBS Securities, explains the benefits of GST,

1) Unified market: The GST will cut down the large number of taxes imposed by the central government (eg. central VAT or excise duty, services tax, central sales tax on inter-state sales, etc.) and states (VAT on sales, entertainment tax, luxury tax and octroi and entry taxes levied by municipalities). This will lead to the creation of a unified market, which would facilitate seamless movement of goods across states and reduce the transaction cost of businesses.

2) Lower incentive to evade tax: Currently, companies have to pay taxes on entire underlying value of the product/service, but under GST, companies in a chain will have to pay tax only on the value-addition. So, the actual tax paid will likely be small and reduce the incentive for evasion.

3) Widen tax base: GST will give credits for all taxes paid earlier in the goods/services chain incentivising tax-paying firms to source inputs from other registered dealers. This will bring in additional revenues to the government as the unorganised sector, which is not part of the value chain, would be drawn into the tax net. Besides, states will be allowed to tax services (as opposed to only the central government) under the GST.

According to the National Council of Applied Economic Research, government's tax revenue will increase by about 0.2 per cent because of GST implementation, while GDP growth could go up by 0.9-1.7 per cent. Exports will also get a boost as they are zero-rated for taxes and also because the fall in cost of manufactured goods and services under GST will increase the competitiveness of Indian goods and services in the international market, UBS says.

'Disorder in the American Courts'

Read this Its awesome   These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

____________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

____________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

_____________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how

old is he?

WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

____________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

_____________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

W ITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

_____________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.

_____________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

_____________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

_____________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

_____________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? 

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law!

LOVE V/s WEALTH!!

Steve jobs’ Last Words -

I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world.

In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success.

However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.

At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.

In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of god of death drawing closer…

Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth…

Should be something that is more important:

Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days ...

Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.

God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.

The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me.

What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.

That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.

Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.

What is the most expensive bed in the world? - "Sick bed" …

You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – "Life".

When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – "Book of Healthy Life".

Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.

Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends...

Treat yourself well. Cherish others.

∥ आयुर्वेदिक दोहे ∥

↷↷↷↷↷↷↷∥∥↶↶↶↶↶↶↶

१Ⓜदही मथें माखन मिले, केसर संग मिलाय,

होठों पर लेपित करें, रंग गुलाबी आय..

२Ⓜबहती यदि जो नाक हो, बहुत बुरा हो हाल,

यूकेलिप्टिस तेल लें, सूंघें डाल रुमाल..

३Ⓜअजवाइन को पीसिये , गाढ़ा लेप लगाय,

चर्म रोग सब दूर हो, तन कंचन बन जाय..

४Ⓜअजवाइन को पीस लें , नीबू संग मिलाय,

फोड़ा-फुंसी दूर हों, सभी बला टल जाय..

५Ⓜअजवाइन-गुड़ खाइए, तभी बने कुछ काम,

पित्त रोग में लाभ हो, पायेंगे आराम..

६Ⓜठण्ड लगे जब आपको, सर्दी से बेहाल,

नीबू मधु के साथ में, अदरक पियें उबाल..

७Ⓜअदरक का रस लीजिए. मधु लेवें समभाग,

नियमित सेवन जब करें, सर्दी जाए भाग..

८Ⓜरोटी मक्के की भली, खा लें यदि भरपूर,

बेहतर लीवर आपका, टी.बी भी हो दूर..

९Ⓜगाजर रस संग आँवला, बीस औ चालिस ग्राम,

रक्तचाप हिरदय सही, पायें सब आराम..

१०Ⓜशहद आंवला जूस हो, मिश्री सब दस ग्राम,

बीस ग्राम घी साथ में, यौवन स्थिर काम..

११Ⓜचिंतित होता क्यों भला, देख बुढ़ापा रोय,

चौलाई पालक भली, यौवन स्थिर होय..

१२Ⓜयलाल टमाटर लीजिए, खीरा सहित सनेह,

जूस करेला साथ हो, दूर रहे मधुमेह..

१३Ⓜप्रातः संध्या पीजिए, खाली पेट सनेह,

जामुन-गुठली पीसिये, नहीं रहे मधुमेह..

१४Ⓜसात पत्र लें नीम के, खाली पेट चबाय, दूर करे मधुमेह को, सब कुछ मन को भाय..

१५Ⓜसात फूल ले लीजिए, सुन्दर सदाबहार,

दूर करे मधुमेह को, जीवन में हो प्यार..

१६Ⓜतुलसीदल दस लीजिए, उठकर प्रातःकाल,

सेहत सुधरे आपकी, तन-मन मालामाल..

१७Ⓜथोड़ा सा गुड़ लीजिए, दूर रहें सब रोग,

अधिक कभी मत खाइए, चाहे मोहनभोग.

१८Ⓜअजवाइन और हींग लें, लहसुन तेल पकाय,

मालिश जोड़ों की करें, दर्द दूर हो जाय..

१९Ⓜऐलोवेरा-आँवला, करे खून में वृद्धि,

उदर व्याधियाँ दूर हों,जीवन में हो सिद्धि..

२०Ⓜदस्त अगर आने लगें, चिंतित दीखे माथ,

दालचीनि का पाउडर, लें पानी के साथ..Akkii..

२१Ⓜमुँह में बदबू हो अगर, दालचीनि मुख डाल,

बने सुगन्धित मुख, महक, दूर होय तत्काल..

२२Ⓜकंचन काया को कभी, पित्त अगर दे कष्ट,

घृतकुमारि संग आँवला, करे उसे भी नष्ट..

२३Ⓜबीस मिली रस आँवला, पांच ग्राम मधु संग,

सुबह शाम में चाटिये, बढ़े ज्योति सब दंग..

२४Ⓜबीस मिली रस आँवला, हल्दी हो एक ग्राम,

सर्दी कफ तकलीफ में, फ़ौरन हो आराम..

२५Ⓜनीबू बेसन जल शहद, मिश्रित लेप लगाय,

चेहरा सुन्दर तब बने, बेहतर यही उपाय..

२६.Ⓜमधु का सेवन जो करे, सुख पावेगा सोय,

कंठ सुरीला साथ में, वाणी मधुरिम होय.

२७.Ⓜपीता थोड़ी छाछ जो, भोजन करके रोज,

नहीं जरूरत वैद्य की, चेहरे पर हो ओज..

२८Ⓜठण्ड अगर लग जाय जो नहीं बने कुछ काम, नियमित पी लें गुनगुना, पानी दे आराम..

२९Ⓜकफ से पीड़ित हो अगर, खाँसी बहुत सताय,

अजवाइन की भाप लें, कफ तब बाहर आय..

३०Ⓜअजवाइन लें छाछ संग, मात्रा पाँच गिराम, कीट पेट के नष्ट हों, जल्दी हो आराम..

३१Ⓜछाछ हींग सेंधा नमक, दूर करे सब रोग,

जीरा उसमें डालकर, पियें सदा यह भोग..।