I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their father
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
I decided to change calling the bathroom the bathroom and renamed it the gym. I feel so much better saying I went to the gym this morning.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
I don't have grey hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my spouse took it!
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Of course I talk to myself.. as sometimes I need expert advice
😝😝😝😝😝😝😝
No comments:
Post a Comment