Thursday 15 September 2016


We had a girl to stay; her name was Virginia. 
We called her Virgin for short, but not for long. 
Father in Church: An hour's pleasure is not worth a lifetime of disgrace.
Any questions? 
Someone yelled: Tell me how do you make it last an hour ? 
Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity 
- don't screw the opportunity! 
What is Fashion Designing? 
Too many brains working on too little clothes with too many ideas on how to
cover two little areas. 
What is Female Viagra? 
An old woman calls the Police department and says: I have a Sex Maniac in my
apartment. Pick him up in the morning! 
The saddest part of a Man's body are his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced
them to : Hang unto Death ! 
Girl: Excuse me, brother, that's my seat. 
Boy: OK! But I'm not your brother, my father never had sex with your mom. 
Girl: True, but my father did ! 
Why are condoms transparent? 
So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene, even if their entry is
Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Should I go out and look at
what I cannot f**k or....Stay home and f**k what I cannot look at.
Sex and shopping have one thing in common: 
In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes and women want to go on
and on and on and on! 
How do you define a virgin? On the Verge but not in! 
What is the definition of a Lesbian? 
Yet another Damn Woman trying to do a Man's job!! 
A football team loses their star player, Roger Dicks, due to an injury. 
Next day a headline reads: Team to play without Dicks. 
The manager calls up the newspaper and objects.
So the editor changes the headline. 
It reads: "Team to play with Dicks out."😀

Wednesday 14 September 2016


By Francois Gautier
1) Believe in God ! - Aastik - Accepted
2) Don't believe in God ! - You're accepted as Nastik
3) You want to worship idols - please go ahead. You are a murti pujak.
4) You dont want to worship idols - no problem. You can focus on Nirguna Brahman.
5) You want to criticise something in our religion. Come forward. We are logical. Nyaya, Tarka etc. are core Hindu schools.
6) You want to accept beliefs as it is. Most welcome. Please go ahead with it.
7) You want to start your journey by reading Bhagvad Gita - Sure !
8) You want to start your journey by reading Upanishads - Go ahead.
9) You want to start your journey by reading Purana - Be my guest.
10) You just don't like reading Puranas or other books. No problem my dear. Go by Bhakti tradition . ( bhakti- devotion)
11) You don't like idea of Bhakti ! No problem. Do your Karma. Be a karmayogi.
12) You want to enjoy life. Very good. No problem at all. This is Charvaka Philosophy.
13) You want to abstain from all the enjoyment of life & find God - jai ho ! Be a Sadhu, an ascetic !
14) You don't like the concept of God. You believe in Nature only - Welcome. (Trees are our friends and Prakriti or nature is worthy of worship).
15) You believe in one God or Supreme Energy. Superb! Follow Advaita philosophy
16) You want a Guru. Go ahead. Receive gyaan.
17) You don't want a Guru.. Help yourself ! Meditate, Study !
18) You believe in Female energy ! Shakti is worshipped.
19) You believe that every human being is equal. Yeah! You're awesome, come on let's celebrate Hinduism! 
"Vasudhaiva kutumbakam" (the world is a family)
20) You don't have time to celebrate the festival.
Don't worry. One more festival is coming! There are multiple festivals every single day of the year.
21) You are a working person. Don't have time for religion. Its okay. You will still be a Hindu.
22) You like to go to temples. Devotion is loved.
23) You don't like to go to temples - no problem. You are still a Hindu!
24) You know that Hinduism ☺ is a way of life, with considerable freedom.
25) You believe that everything has God in it. So you worship your mother, father, guru, tree, River, Prani-matra, Earth, Universe!
26) And If you don't believe that everything has GOD in it - No problems. Respect your viewpoint.
27) "Sarve jana sukhino bhavantu " (May you all live happily)
You represent this! You're free to choose, my dear Hindu!
This is exactly the essence of Hinduism, all inclusive .. That is why it has withstood the test of time inspite of repeated onslaught both from within and outside, and assimilated every good aspects from everything . That is why it is eternal !!!
There is a saying in Rigveda , the first book ever known to mankind which depicts the Hinduism philosophy in a Nutshell -" Ano bhadrah Krathavo Yanthu Vishwathah"- Let the knowledge come to us from every direction "

Saturday 3 September 2016

*Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar*

I was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing I noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for me.

He handed me a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wasu, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'

Taken aback, I read the card. It said: Wasu's Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew me away. Especially when I noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wasu said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.'

I said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.'

Wasu smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, lassi, water and orange juice.'

Almost stuttering, I said, 'I'll take a Lassi.'

Handing me my drink, Wasu said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Hindu, Times  of India, ET and India Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wasu handed me another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wasu told me that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.

Then he advised me of the best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he'd be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if I preferred, to leave me with my own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wasu,' I was amazed and asked him, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wasu smiled into the rear view mirror. _No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I  spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do_. *Then I heard about power of choice one day.'

'Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an eagle*.

'If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining!'

'Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'

'That hit me right,' said Wasu.

'It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were
unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' I said.

'It sure has,' Wasu replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.'

Wasu made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

Have an eagle week... And next...And.... 

"You don't die if you fall in water, you die only if you don't swim.

*Love Your Wife'

*●Don’t shout* at your wife when you are talking. It really hurts her. 

*●Do not share* her love or affection with another woman. It is called Adultery. 

*●Never compare* your wife to another woman. If the other woman was good for you, God would have given her to you. 

*●Be gentle* and accommodating. She has sacrificed so much to be with you. It hurts her deeply when you are harsh and irritating. Be tender. 

*●Hide nothing* from her. You are now one and she’s your soulmate. Let there be no secret you are keeping from her. 

*●Do not make* negative comment about her body. She risked her life and beauty to carry your babies. She is a living soul not just flesh and blood.

*●Do not let* her body determine her worth. Cherish and appreciate her even till old age.

*●Never shout* at her in the public and in private. If you have an issue to sort with her, do it in the privacy of your room. 

*●Thank and appreciate* her for taking good care of you, the kids and the house. It is a great sacrifice she is making.

*●All women* cannot cook the same way; appreciate your wife’s food. It is not easy to cook three meals a day, 365 days a year for several years. 

*●Never place* your siblings before her. She is your wife. She is one with you. She must come before your family. 

*●Make time* to play with her and enjoy her company. Remember when you are dead, she’s gonna be by your grave but your friends may be too busy to attend your funeral. 

*●Never use* money to manipulate or control her. All your money belongs to her. She is a joint heir with you of the grace of God. 

*●Do not* expose her weakness. You will be exposing yourself too. Be a shield around her.

*●Honour* her parents and be kind to her siblings. 

*●Never cease* to tell her how much you love her all the days of her life. Women are never tired of hearing that.