Thursday 9 March 2017

Teachers retire early or take to drink.....

The following questions were in a UK grade 12 equivalent examination-- (Purportedly genuine answers).

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. 

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. 

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. 
(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.) 

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death. 

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. 
(Simple, but brilliant) 

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the 5 bowels... A, E, I, O, U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. 

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section.'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome . 

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. 
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I conked out.) 

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. 

Q. Name the four seasons 
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
No wonder Britain Brexited !!

No comments:

Post a Comment